If you find yourself constantly needing to prove your worth, you have already forgotten your value.
Why do I want to lose weight, earn more money, and start that new business?
Is my motivation really to take better care of my family… or is it to avoid that nagging, guilty feeling when they want something I can’t afford?
Am I really seeking ways to help others, or am I constantly comparing myself to them, wanting to come out on top?
My actions can be the same, but the motivation behind them determines whether they are a joy or a chore.
Why is it so hard to get out of bed some days?
Let’s set the obvious aside: if you’re not getting sufficient sleep because you don’t get to bed on time, you’re not going to want to get up on time. That’s called “burning the candle at both ends,” and it presents issues of its own.
But what about those days when you’ve already been in the sack for the requisite eight hours or so, but you still don’t want to get out of bed? What’s going on there?
Could your lack of enthusiasm for the new day be traced directly to the motivation you have to accomplish the tasks awaiting you?
I think so.
It’s an inside job.
Your choices are to get up dutifully and trudge through the day, doing what you have to do for the people who probably don’t appreciate you anyway… or to get your motivation from a source that’s NOT fueled by people-pleasing.
Hey, this is tough stuff. I know it is. I’ve done the work, and I’m doing the work myself. Motivation identification is an ongoing process. The more introspection I gain, the more amazed I am at how easy it is to get off track and begin acting like my personal worth is directly tied to my net worth.
Join me in the effort. You are not alone.
Roadturn Challenge: Choose something you do on a regular basis, but typically dread doing. Maybe it’s washing dishes, going to the gym, or even going to work. Start asking yourself why you do it at all, and don’t start asking “Why?” until the lights come on. This is information you don’t need to share with anyone else. It’s crucial that you get as honest as you can possibly get with yourself.
Here’s an example:
- I go to the gym because I want to be in better physical condition. (Why?)
- I want to be in better physical condition because I hate being overweight. (Why?)
- I hate being overweight because I don’t want to look like I’m a lazy pig. (Why?)
- I don’t want to look like I’m a lazy pig because it hurts my pride. (Why?)
- It hurts my pride because I compare myself to others, and I ALWAYS come out “less than.”
I’ll stop there — not because the questioning of myself couldn’t go deeper, but because that sequence should amply illustrate the principle. If my reason to work out is to try to avoid something inevitable… then why work out at all? No wonder I’m not leaping out of bed to get to the gym!
As you can see, this is deep work. At some point, you’ll want to get perspective from a trusted mentor or professional counselor.
Roadturn Principle: If you find yourself constantly needing to prove your worth, you have already forgotten your value.
You are valuable. You are precious. You are needed.
When you get to the place where you’re getting out of bed because you KNOW your true personal value and the value of the day’s activities in front of you, you’ll find it much easier to move your feet from bed to floor.
When your “Why I’m doing it” is switched from “to impress others” to something deeper and greater, your enthusiasm will become contagious, and those who laugh at your efforts now will want to join you on the journey.
Let’s talk about it…